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25" Glittered Skeleton Butler "Beware" Halloween Figure Holding Candy Tray






Monday, October 24, 2011

Do Not Do This at Home

Do Not Do This at Home


Now, ladies and gentleMen, I once again humiliated. This happened last Saturday. Please do not try this at home. My Father-in-law called and wanted to be old for 5 years at our carnival. I wanted to take it, but my father-in-law wanted to go to my wife as well.

So, my wife says, "Want to go?" He says: "I know there are things to do with the deal so it does not matter if you want to go or not." So I do not see this as an opportunity that does things with the houseBusiness. Always something to do with this and the blessing of my wife. Wow. I have been a good boy! So I go out of my wife and my son and how to get out of the driveway to start, I go back home. The door is locked !!!!!! Here I am, barefoot, in shorts and shirt, no buttons (obviously, or there would be no story there?), No. phone - nothing.

So I walk barefoot and out of our dirt road on our way. I tried to run on a block, and * poof * my wife down wave isdisappeared. After the adrenaline rush, I noticed my feet hurt really bad. It took me two seconds to fly down the disc, but it took 2-3 minutes to go back carefully. Great. Now I need to figure out how to break into my house. Looking for a phone and call? No, I'm ruined my family is funny, because I'm stuck in some way. In addition, they are human. They set things right. So I sit on my porch and look for things that I use to remove the lock can.

The bolt is not locked, it should not beproblem. I know I need something flexible and will not break easily. Credit or insurance cards work well, but I don't have my wallet. Yes, I have done this before and it was legal!!!

I search my car and find some plastic casing. I fold it and then go at the lock on the front door. Nope. Well...I will try the back door. I walk to the backyard and past my 130 pound St. Bernard who thinks I want to play. He snatches the plastic out of my hand as I am closing the gate and takes off with it in the yard.

After Greco-Roman wrestling the dog to the ground and getting the plastic out of his mouth, it is all chewed up and there is no way I can use it to try it on the back door. So I have to walk back down the driveway, around the house through the yard and to my mini-barn to find another break-in device. I also have a workshop, but tools will not work. It has to be flexible and strong. So I find a couple of old Cd's and a long piece of plastic that came out of I don't know where.

As I was in the mini barn I had a chance to read some old things that I had written in the past, look at old pictures, etc. Kind of sweet huh? Yeah if it wasn't 92 degrees and I wasn't locked out of my house! I try all of the things that I had found and not one would work.

I was getting a little frustrated. I almost got to the point where I thought I should just sit down and wait for my wife to get home. Whatever! I am man remember? So I go around to the back door again and cannot get in!

Our 2 Cats and black pug are all at the back door looking at the weirdo having convulsions trying to break-in. So, I let them know that all they are good for is to eat and poop. After I finally break all of things I was using, I head back down and my big doggy bites my shorts and pulls them down. Good thing we live in the country, full moon was out early.

Now, my hands and feet hurt and I am at wits end. So, I have an idea. I walk back around my house to the tool Shed some darts and remember the old farm, we have had. I take the piece of plastic that and go home. I like to jump on the side of my porch trying to step on something and do it in my foot. This is not the worst.

I lose my balance and fall flat on his back in the gravel. It was time, since I had the wind knocked out of me. So after I took my breath away and the large splinter from his foot, I put it there and I just wanted to take a nap. But Iam no quitter and I got up, go to the front door, slide the yard dart in and the door pops open. LOL!

I was outside for 1 hour and 45 minutes trying to get in. There are instances when you are humbled and this was definitely one for me. I wanted to get things done with the business, but I really should have went to the carnival. It is very important to take your home business seriously, but there are times when you should make it secondary. I found that out the hard way.

Doug G